Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Seminary life is catching up to me...

Now that we're half way through our vicarage experience, I'm realizing just how hard Seminary life is on a family. I think it was originally designed when most Seminarians were still single, so of course were very flexible in terms of being sent all over the place in their short education experience. But now with most guys married, and many with children, I see the original purpose, but families are definitely being pressed upon in these four years.

We knew what we were signing up for before we came to Saint Louis. We knew we'd be there two years, somewhere else one year, then back to STL for one more year, and finally somewhere else entirely for however long, hopefully long term. But now we're actually in it. We've done four years of college, left those friends to move to Saint Louis. In those two years we've kept up with old friends, and made new ones, only to leave them last year. And now we're here in FL, trying to keep up with college friends, St. Louis friends, and are making more friends, who we'll just be saying goodbye to in July. And then it's back to St. Louis, "yay!" right? Except that we'll be saying goodbye again at the end of the year. Maybe you're thinking, that's awesome, now you have a TON of friends and support all over the place! Well, yes, definitely. But at the same time, how close can you get to people in two years when we both know you'll be leaving? And then again in one year? And then again in your fourth year?

I consider myself an extrovert. I'm not extremely outgoing or loud, but I definitely get my energy from being around other people. I enjoy having deep meaningful friendships, and for some reason, I've lived a life that's not as conducive to such, as compared to other people around me. Like I said when I began this blog, this is my 7th or 8th city I've lived in, in my short 25 years of life. It seems like the average person maybe goes to college in a different state, but that's about it. For the most part they're in one, maybe two places for a pretty long time. Long enough to establish some really great relationships with the people around them. And then where exactly do we fit into those people's lives? Friends who are just going to up and leave in a matter of months?

I know I'm not the only one experiencing these thoughts and feelings right now. I've talked with other vicar families who are going through the same thing, and even some friends who aren't at the seminary, but who have started their new lives away from family and friends and are finding it hard to fit into the lives of others.

I don't mean to be a downer! We had a great time in St Louis, are having a great time here, and look forward to another year in St Louis with "old" friends (relatively speaking). It's just hard to say goodbye SO many times. Especially when the end of those goodbyes isn't quite in sight.

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